How to Turn your Gripes into Gold
The Alchemy of the ‘Woe is Me!’
“I don’t have enough time…”
“I’m spreading myself too thin…”
“I’m juggling so much and feeling overwhelmed…”
Blah blah, and on the violin plays!
A while back I caught myself stuck in the cycle of ‘woe is me!”.
Whilst having the opportunity to voice my thoughts and in expressing my frustration, all I heard echoed back at me was ”blah, blah, complain, complain, drain, drain.” I very quickly became aware of the reality I had created for myself. Complaining is one sure fire way to unplug from your personal power and create an instant reverse vacuum for your energy!
When my head starts getting cluttered and noisy like a busy shopping mall, I know trying to change my thoughts with more thoughts is as futile as fighting fire with fire. Meditation is always the best anecdote for me – the stillness allows my inner knowing and clarity to surface and the trap of the ego to fade into the illusion that it is.Complaining is one sure fire way to unplug from your personal power and create an instant reverse vacuum for your energy! Fighting the ego head-on is a losing battle. By surrendering and accepting your thoughts for what they are (mere thoughts and NOT who you truly are) will help raise your vibration and allow you to act constructively rather than destructively.
By surrendering it became clear to me there were two main themes involved:
1. Nothing has any meaning, save the meaning you give it.
2. Where you focus your intention, your energy will follow.
Through the constant repetitive inner dialogue, I had created and fuelled my own stuck reality.
I’ve learned often all that’s needed to get my power back is a simple shift in perspective. If everything has an equal and opposite polarity, how do I change my story into an expression of gratitude instead? That way I get to turn the negative charge into a positive one, shifting my entire inner state so I can rather focus on what I need to change in order to move forward.
So what do my incessant negative thoughts actually presuppose? What are the positive implications behind my story? How do I transform my gripes into gold?
“I don’t have enough time in the day to get everything done. My mornings are spent getting my daughter ready for school and then fetching, extra-murals, etc. How do I do it all?”
I’m so blessed to have a daughter who brings me so much joy and fulfillment. I get to spend time with her in the mornings and afternoons and being a working mom I should embrace each moment I get with her.
“I feel like I’m spreading myself so thin… trying to get my business going whilst still having time for my family, myself, my well-being, and all my other responsibilities.”
I have such a full life! I have family, friends, activities and work that I love and WANT to spend time on.
“Its hard wearing two hats… juggling work that’s paying and work that I want to be spending more time doing.”
I have work that brings me income AND I have work that fulfills my passion. This helps take the pressure off while I transition into creating my full income from living my purpose and passion.
Now that I have my gold, what can I learn from this going forward?
Well, that there’s nothing actually WRONG, I simply need to manage my time more effectively.
By going through this process it put me at ‘cause’ (i.e creating the life I want, instead of being in effect of it and feeling like the victim).
Rather than being stuck on the hamster wheel of pity, I could re-frame my situation and get to the root cause of the frustration. Knowing that my main issue was time management, I could now move forward by asking myself the simple question, “How can I manage my time more efficiently?” You’ll be surprised how easily the answers will land in your awareness when you are clear about what it is you want. Being in action of what you are wanting is a far more empowering place to be than wallowing and focusing on the lack in your life.
How many times do you hear yourself complaining… draining your power and fuelling a story that only becomes real because you’ve made it so? The solution in transforming the ‘woe is me’ is surrendering to the situation, taking responsibility and then action.
The 4-step alchemy process
- Observe your thoughts (without judgement). Watch them like a curious bystander. You can then acknowledge the obvious – you are separate from your thoughts and all they’ve done is cloud your perception and filtered a skewed reality.
- Surrender and acknowledge what you are feeling beyond those thoughts. Feel the frustration / anger / sadness… whatever the emotion is, allow it to simply be.
- Find the Gold. What is the complaint presupposing? What positive insights can you get from the mere fact of this situation existing in the first place? For example if you’re frustrated in your workplace, your gold could be: “I am grateful to have a job and some financial security.”
- What can you learn from this and what next step can you take in moving forward? Embrace the opportunity to grow from your challenge and turn it around by creating new possibilities. In the case of the above example you could ask yourself, “What are my options in moving through this situation? Is it simply a matter of having a conversation with a co-worker? Is it looking for a new job? What empowering next step can I take going forward?”
Through our thoughts, perceptions, behaviour and action we take, we are creating our every day reality. The question is, are you simply in effect of your stuck thinking, or are you creating the life you WANT?