5 steps to being more authentically you
The origin of the word authentic is ‘authorative, self master, original, genuine, authority of it’s original creator’.
It’s connecting with the original you, direct from Source and expressing that through the experience of being human. It’s a journey of uncovering your truth and being true to that which you uncover.
It’s an ongoing journey beyond the layers of the ego and in the process being aware of your defences, limitations, fears, barriers etc that come between you and your most authentic self. It’s not so much getting rid of the ego, but more like knowing it, owning it and rising beyond it. By being honest with what your strengths and weaknesses are you are being true your process and building the muscles of integrity and authenticity.
Who you are today may be different to who you were five years ago or will be five years from now. But the more you honour who you are in each moment, the more you grow and deepen your trust, truth and connection to life.
When you are present to each moment you get to experience the beauty of life as something that is happening through you as opposed to outside of you. You feel the oneness and connection to all, rather than separation and isolation. You become more attuned to your authentic self, because you’re not in the past or the future – you’re one with all that is.
Being yourself sounds obvious and easy, yet we’ve been so conditioned to ‘fit in’, be accepted by others and meet certain expectations that we often land up taking a back seat in our own lives. We think that we are being ourselves, but in fact have hardly really taken the time out to intimately get to know who we are; what we want; what we like; what we actually don’t like; who we want to spend time with; who we don’t want to spend time with; what our dreams are; what our fears are; what brings us joy; what brings us pain; what we really feel; what makes us feel alive; what trips us up, and so the list goes on…
The more we get to know our selves, the more we get to make conscious choices and design our life according to what we really want rather than being on auto-pilot.
1. Be Still
We’re not called the Human Race for nothing! In today’s fast-pace world, very little time is spent in stillness and solitude. More energy is spent on building our outer world than our inner world, yet we can’t create what we truly want on the outside if we don’t invest in our internal world. Fulfilment, peace, contentment, love, security, etc are unsustainable if we rely on others or external circumstances to provide them for us.
When you start becoming those virtues – fulfilled, at peace, content, love, etc. you stop needing to control and manipulate your world and discover a beautiful freedom that becomes your new way of being.
We often use ‘busy’ as an escapism… a distraction so we don’t have to face our truth. Facing one’s truth can be scary – less waves are made in a shallow pond and ignorance is way more convenient. Yet the more you keep running, the louder the ‘voice’ becomes. It either manifests in the body causing, stress, anxiety, pain or illness, or on the outside as accidents or events that may seem ‘outside our control.’ Sooner or later, you’ll be forced to see your truth – you get to decide how long that takes.
When we’re still, we allow what needs to arise, giving us the clarity and awareness as to what’s really going on for us. We can then take empowered action rather than be in reaction to life.
- Get into nature. Nature is the most authentic expression of God/Source. By being still in nature we naturally align with our own divinity and a certain clarity begins to burn through the fog.
- Get out of your head even for 5 minutes a day. Place your hands over your heart and drop your awareness into that space. No need to analyse or find solutions. Just feel. The heart is the gateway to the soul… that’s where our truth lies – we can’t think ourselves clear.
Don’t make excuses that you don’t have time to be still. You don’t have time to not be still. If you don’t make time for you, your body will make time for you.
2. Feel and Get Real
To get in touch with who you really are and what you want, you have to be honest with yourself. We can justify and lie to ourselves about anything so not to have to face our truth. When we ‘re not honouring our truth it can show up as:
Avoidance, disconnection, illness, fatigue, self righteousness, defensiveness, depression, stress, anxiety, people pleasing, fixing, anger, victimhood, addictions – food, substance, exercise, technology, anything that feeds us with instant gratification and gives us a quick fix.
We’re masters of self-deception and can lie and justify our way through most of our blind spots. The best lie-detector is our body, when anything’s amiss we usually feel it there first… shortness of breath, anxiety, stress.
LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! When an unpleasant feeling arises, don’t try and mask over it. Sit in it. Feel it. Where is it in your body? Breathe into it. Any symptom is a message from your body to address something. Feel it, acknowledge it. Start a conversation with your body. “What are you trying to tell me?” Listen. You’ll be amazed at the answers that ‘land’ in your awareness.
Your body is always trying to communicate with you, it’s your greatest teacher. You can either ignore it and try cover up the symptoms with medication and prolong the inevitable or listen to the message it has for you. Honour your body and it will honour you. Look after your body and it will look after you.
When you start feeling the uncomfortable parts, they give way to insight and clarity. When you stop suppressing what you don’t want to feel and rather embrace and feel it all, you allow everything you do want to feel to come to the surface too. Making friends with your ‘shadow’ is a key step towards wholeness.
The Deeper we feel the Deeper we heal.
3. Stop worrying about what others thinkBe who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” Your life is your unique journey and if you don’t honour it, no one will. Whatever people think of you has got more to do with them and less to do with you. Some people will judge no matter what, you may as well just be who you are. If you lose some friends along the way, then that just creates space for the more like-minded, energised connections that you’re really wanting. The more you accept and love yourself, the less you judge yourself and the less you project those judgements on to others. Most of the time people are too wrapped up in their own lives to be bothered about what you’re doing anyway!
Of course it doesn’t mean you stop caring about others and valuing their thoughts and opinions, it just means you learn to trust your self and honour your own truth, while being open enough to receive advice. When you make decisions using your heart as your measuring stick, you build trust and integrity within yourself and increase your intuition. The more in touch you are with your own heart, the less you need to give your power over to others to decide how you live your life.
You’re the one that has to wake up into your life every day, you may as well make it one that you’re excited to live!
4. Throw your identity out the window
Be willing to drop whoever you think you are completely! Yes, I know, not so easy as our beliefs have been so deeply ingrained in who we think we are that we hardly ever question them. Yet if we had to let go of everything we thought about ourselves and the world we’d have fresh new eyes to see beyond the limitations of our beliefs and make new choices that resonate more deeply with who we are.
We so easily label ourselves by our profession or what we do.” I’m a mother, life coach, designer, energy healer, etc”. but actually I’m none of those. They’re simply ways that I get to experience and share who I am with the world and there are countless ways I can do that, so why limit myself? When we get too attached to our identity we block the flow of endless opportunity and possibility that is available to us.
Who you are is way more unique and special than any career or title you have. Who you are is pure Light and Love and you get to spread that Light any and every which way you want.
5. Live from the heart
Do more of what brings you to life, gets your juices flowing and connects you to your bliss. When you live from your heart, what doesn’t match up begins to fall away and you start attracting more of what resonates with the real you.
Being real often means feeling vulnerable in a world masked with fear and disconnection. Like a snake that’s shedding it’s skin, the new skin can feel tender and exposed. Yet the courage of vulnerability and being true to your spirit has the power to penetrate the superficial, allowing others permission to be true to themselves.
When you are coming from a place of authenticity you live and share your truth, not because you think you know better than anyone else, need approval, or have something to prove. You share it because through expression of spirit, you get to experience the joy of being alive, being uniquely you and touch others lives in ways you may never know.Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ~ Dr Seuss