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Blog

Cupid se Crooked Arrow!

February 14, 2014

Romance or no romance, I’ve never really been a fan of the big V-Day. Sure I’ve had some great Valentines, but there’s always been a hint of pressure, expectation, and like any commercial holiday… hype and a sense of obligation stirred into the mix.

The question is, why are we celebrating love today anyway? Well, because that’s what’s selling right now. Right now love is in! Next week love will be out and chocolate bunnies will be in! Then it’s mom and dad’s turn… and so it continues.

Like any spell, you don’t know you’re under one until you break free from it. We keep following the same pattern year after year, while the shops and media keep manipulating us to spend, what R600 on a rose these days?

And why? Because of St Valentine, who as it turns out was imprisoned, tortured and executed in Rome on February 14, 273. Ah now that’s love! It seems the colour red represents all the bloodshed rather than the love. 

Valentine’s – a day where love is held to ransom. Where single people feel their lack of love magnified. Where partners feel pressure and expectations. Where ‘normal’ love just doesn’t quite cut it and has to be dressed up in a pretty (and rather expensive) bow and delivered in just the right way to meet the partner’s expectations.

The thing with packaging something, even with all the fancy trimmings, is that when unwrapped, the present remains the present. What’s underneath is always underneath no matter how much you try pile on top. And in fact when you open up a beautifully presented gift with high expectations and find the same thing that’s always been there, you tend to be somewhat disappointed.

Love doesn’t need to be dressed up for a day so it can prove something. Love has nothing to prove, it simply IS and like a hosepipe we determine how much we allow to flow through us based on how restrictive or open we are to receiving from that source.

So while I used to think Cupid was a chubby little masochist archery drop-out, often missing the mark and shooting me straight back in the heart. I now know that he was actually always bang on target and his little arrow was ever so un-gently trying to crack me open to real love.

Self love is by far the hardest, yet most necessary and rewarding relationships to nurture and master. Our relationships with each other aren’t what brings us love and joy, they are merely mirrors that reflect what is within us – the good, the bad and the ugly. They magnify our weaknesses and low self esteem, highlight our joy and positives… and any parts of us that we don’t want to look at, they’ll shine a light right on them. Relationships are our best teacher, always pointing us back towards ourselves.

Self love requires a bit of mining to dig deep and bring those dark bits of coal to the surface so they can become our fuel for living with true freedom and passion. It’s about knowing and accepting all of who you are so you can come back into wholeness. It’s being able to tap directly into the source of life and experience it in a beautiful sunset; a joke shared with a friend; a birthing of a new project or idea into life; a moment of blissful connection to universal oneness during meditation; holding your baby in your arms for the first time and seeing the miracle of your perfection reflected back to you.

So don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Love, in fact I LOVE love. It’s the only thing worth celebrating and we should be doing it on a daily basis for the right reasons – because it’s the essence of who we are, the basis of all our motives, it’s always about love, we’re just sometimes looking in all the wrong places.

So today (and everyday) I honour the love that is within and around me… all the beautiful people, creatures and life that radiate that love, and to Cupid and his crooked arrow for inadvertently pointing me to back towards that true source and inner freedom.

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Separated from Birth… from Mother Earth

September 19, 2013

This post was written as a speech for a Toastmasters project, so feel free to insert some gestures and a healthy injection of passion while reading. I joined Toastmasters to get over my fear of public speaking and now I’m beginning to quite like the idea of speaking to people who have to listen to what I’ve got to say… and it seems I have a lot to say!

“I was trying to think back to how my love for nature began, and I realised it wasn’t so much a specific moment, as it is an inherent bond… like a baby who still remains connected to her Mother after birth, even though the physical umbilical has been cut.

Some of my fondest childhood memories are of living on the mountainside. My sister and I used to try eat the plants and flowers to see what they tasted like – I swear the aftertaste of some of them still lingers. I remember making a nest on one of the rocks outside and placing eggs I had taken from my fridge in it, thinking a bird will come and sit on them and hatch some chicks. The next day the eggs were gone… and no chicks.

From a young age I didn’t much like the human race. I saw us as destroying our planet and had more of an affinity with animals. I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, but then decided I didn’t like the idea of dolphins being in captivity. My science expo project was about laboratory testing on animals – entitled “Vivisection: are humans humane?” And then as I grew older I realised animals weren’t the ones that needed the help, people were. We must be really suffering if we can cause this much suffering to each other and the planet. If I was going to help change the world (no small feat), it needed to start with me… and I needed to start liking humans, in fact loving them because essentially Divine Love and connection are the keys to a thriving future.

Nature is not something separate from us, we are nature. When we disconnect from nature we disconnect from our selves.

“Most people are on the world, not in it – having no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them – undiffused, separate and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate”  – John Muir.

Our planet is a living, breathing organism. Everything is alive with pure consciousness and when we connect to nature we align with and tap into that consciousness, connecting to a higher aspect of who we are – our true essence. We subconsciously activate a forgotten memory of the Love and Oneness that we really are.

For me, being in nature is like going back home. I feel a deep sense of belonging, at peace with all that is. Any stresses feel insignificant in comparison to the vastness of beauty and wonder that surrounds me.

Mother nature helps us to connect with the feminine right side of our brain, giving us fresh perspective, new ideas, creative flow and reconnecting us to our hearts.

Not only does she benefit the mind, heart and spirit, but the body too.

The Earth maintains a negative electrical potential on its surface and because we contain a large number of charged ions (electrolytes) in our blood and body fluids, our bodies are naturally conductive so when we come directly into contact with the ground (through walking, sitting or lying) we absorb these electrons into our body, bringing it to the same potential as the earth. Also known as Grounding.

Our immune system functions optimally when we have an adequate supply of electrons so the health benefits are numerous. As well as being the best (and most affordable) antioxidant, it also protects us from the disruptive Electro Magnetic Fields we’re exposed to on a daily basis.

Traditionally shoes were made of leather, which conducts electrons. However, modern day rubber and plastics are electrical insulators and therefore block the beneficial flow of electrons from the earth to your body, as of course do our roads and paving. Every living being needs the earth for balance and energy harmonization!

Throughout our existence humanity has been closely bonded with nature. It’s only in recent times that we’ve created a man-made environment that’s not only destroying our own health, but the health of our planet. The chaos and destruction is so huge because we relate to nature to being something outside of ourselves. “the more we dominate, own and control, the more separate we experience ourselves. And the more separate we experience ourselves, the greater the urge to dominate, to own, to control” – Charles Eisenstein

We are inextricably connected to every life form on this planet… Animate or inanimate, everything is energy vibrating at different frequencies and speeds. And because our thoughts are high frequency energy they have a direct impact on your life, your environment, humanity and the entire planet.

 

You may have heard of Dr Emoto who introduced the idea that water not only reflects the outside world (as in a placid lake or still pond acting as a mirror) but also reflects the consciousness surrounding it. The experiments to discover this included bottles filled with water that were either under a positive or negative influence. Words of love and encouragement created beautifully symmetrical crystals. Words of hate, anger and criticism were discoloured and malformed. Considering that our bodies are between 50 to 75 % water, this says a lot about how are thoughts and words affect our health. And because we are a webstring in the web of life, affecting our planet too.

The future of our planet relies on us being in harmony with her. Living in balance within ourselves and within our environment. Nature provides… she is abundant with resources – water, food, shelter, energy and yet humanity struggles in lack. She teaches us and heals us… it’s up to us to connect to her wisdom and create a symbiotic relationship that has long been forgotten.

Be with nature, not just in it. listen to the wisdom within the stillness.

Walk barefoot on the beach and feel the deep connection you share.

Feel the strength and protection of the mountains, the cleansing breath of the wind.

We are one with all of life, and it’s time to remember that.”

 

Like our new page Earth-Heart Coaching and Community

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5 steps to being more authentically you

August 1, 2013

The origin of the word authentic is ‘authorative, self master, original, genuine, authority of it’s original creator’.

It’s connecting with the original you, direct from Source and expressing that through the experience of being human. It’s a journey of uncovering your truth and being true to that which you uncover.

It’s an ongoing journey beyond the layers of the ego and in the process being aware of your defences, limitations, fears, barriers etc that come between you and your most authentic self. It’s not so much getting rid of the ego, but more like knowing it, owning it and rising beyond it. By being honest with what your strengths and weaknesses are you are being true your process and building the muscles of integrity and authenticity.

Who you are today may be different to who you were five years ago or will be five years from now. But the more you honour who you are in each moment, the more you grow and deepen your trust, truth and connection to life.

When you are present to each moment you get to experience the beauty of life as something that is happening through you as opposed to outside of you. You feel the oneness and connection to all, rather than separation and isolation. You become more attuned to your authentic self, because you’re not in the past or the future ­– you’re one with all that is.

Being yourself sounds obvious and easy, yet we’ve been so conditioned to ‘fit in’, be accepted by others and meet certain expectations that we often land up taking a back seat in our own lives. We think that we are being ourselves, but in fact have hardly really taken the time out to intimately get to know who we are; what we want; what we like; what we actually don’t like; who we want to spend time with; who we don’t want to spend time with; what our dreams are; what our fears are; what brings us joy; what brings us pain; what we really feel; what makes us feel alive; what trips us up, and so the list goes on…

The more we get to know our selves, the more we get to make conscious choices and design our life according to what we really want rather than being on auto-pilot.

 

1. Be Still

We’re not called the Human Race for nothing! In today’s fast-pace world, very little time is spent in stillness and solitude. More energy is spent on building our outer world than our inner world, yet we can’t create what we truly want on the outside if we don’t invest in our internal world. Fulfilment, peace, contentment, love, security, etc are unsustainable if we rely on others or external circumstances to provide them for us.

When you start becoming those virtues – fulfilled, at peace, content, love, etc. you stop needing to control and manipulate your world and discover a beautiful freedom that becomes your new way of being.

We often use ‘busy’ as an escapism… a distraction so we don’t have to face our truth. Facing one’s truth can be scary – less waves are made in a shallow pond and ignorance is way more convenient. Yet the more you keep running, the louder the ‘voice’ becomes. It either manifests in the body causing, stress, anxiety, pain or illness, or on the outside as accidents or events that may seem ‘outside our control.’  Sooner or later, you’ll be forced to see your truth ­– you get to decide how long that takes.

When we’re still, we allow what needs to arise, giving us the clarity and awareness as to what’s really going on for us. We can then take empowered action rather than be in reaction to life.

  • Get into nature. Nature is the most authentic expression of God/Source. By being still in nature we naturally align with our own divinity and a certain clarity begins to burn through the fog.
  • Get out of your head even for 5 minutes a day. Place your hands over your heart and drop your awareness into that space. No need to analyse or find solutions. Just feel. The heart is the gateway to the soul… that’s where our truth lies  – we can’t think ourselves clear.  

Don’t make excuses that you don’t have time to be still. You don’t have time to not be still.  If you don’t make time for you, your body will make time for you.

 

2. Feel and Get Real

You can’t clean the dirt without first seeing it and accepting it’s there.

To get in touch with who you really are and what you want, you have to be honest with yourself. We can justify and lie to ourselves about anything so not to have to face our truth. When we ‘re not honouring our truth it can show up as:

Avoidance, disconnection, illness, fatigue, self righteousness, defensiveness, depression, stress, anxiety, people pleasing, fixing, anger, victimhood, addictions – food, substance, exercise, technology, anything that feeds us with instant gratification and gives us a quick fix.

We’re masters of self-deception and can lie and justify our way through most of our blind spots. The best lie-detector is our body, when anything’s amiss we usually feel it there first… shortness of breath, anxiety, stress.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! When an unpleasant feeling arises, don’t try and mask over it. Sit in it. Feel it. Where is it in your body? Breathe into it. Any symptom is a message from your body to address something. Feel it, acknowledge it. Start a conversation with your body. “What are you trying to tell me?” Listen. You’ll be amazed at the answers that ‘land’ in your awareness.

Your body is always trying to communicate with you, it’s your greatest teacher. You can either ignore it and try cover up the symptoms with medication and prolong the inevitable or listen to the message it has for you. Honour your body and it will honour you. Look after your body and it will look after you.

When you start feeling the uncomfortable parts, they give way to insight and clarity. When you stop suppressing what you don’t want to feel and rather embrace and feel it all, you allow everything you do want to feel to come to the surface too. Making friends with your ‘shadow’ is a key step towards wholeness.

The Deeper we feel the Deeper we heal.

 

3. Stop worrying about what others think

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Your life is your unique journey and if you don’t honour it, no one will. Whatever people think of you has got more to do with them and less to do with you. Some people will judge no matter what, you may as well just be who you are. If you lose some friends along the way, then that just creates space for the more like-minded, energised connections that you’re really wanting. The more you accept and love yourself, the less you judge yourself and the less you project those judgements on to others. Most of the time people are too wrapped up in their own lives to be bothered about what you’re doing anyway!

Of course it doesn’t mean you stop caring about others and valuing their thoughts and opinions, it just means you learn to trust your self and honour your own truth, while being open enough to receive advice. When you make decisions using your heart as your measuring stick, you build trust and integrity within yourself and increase your intuition. The more in touch you are with your own heart, the less you need to give your power over to others to decide how you live your life.

You’re the one that has to wake up into your life every day, you may as well make it one that you’re excited to live!

 

4. Throw your identity out the window

Be willing to drop whoever you think you are completely! Yes, I know, not so easy as our beliefs have been so deeply ingrained in who we think we are that we hardly ever question them. Yet if we had to let go of everything we thought about ourselves and the world we’d have fresh new eyes to see beyond the limitations of our beliefs and make new choices that resonate more deeply with who we are.

We so easily label ourselves by our profession or what we do.” I’m a mother, life coach, designer, energy healer, etc”. but actually I’m none of those. They’re simply ways that I get to experience and share who I am with the world and there are countless ways I can do that, so why limit myself? When we get too attached to our identity we block the flow of endless opportunity and possibility that is available to us.

Who you are is way more unique and special than any career or title you have. Who you are is pure Light and Love and you get to spread that Light any and every which way you want.

 

5. Live from the heart

Being true to who you are and what you want requires the courage to honour that and take action accordingly. Whatever you feel in your heart deserves to be expressed and brought to life.

Do more of what brings you to life, gets your juices flowing and connects you to your bliss. When you live from your heart, what doesn’t match up begins to fall away and you start attracting more of what resonates with the real you.

Being real often means feeling vulnerable in a world masked with fear and disconnection. Like a snake that’s shedding it’s skin, the new skin can feel tender and exposed. Yet the courage of vulnerability and being true to your spirit has the power to penetrate the superficial, allowing others permission to be true to themselves.

When you are coming from a place of authenticity you live and share your truth, not because you think you know better than anyone else, need approval, or have something to prove. You share it because through expression of spirit, you get to experience the joy of being alive, being uniquely you and touch others lives in ways you may never know.

Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” ~ Dr Seuss

 

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Living your Bliss!

July 11, 2013

I remember a specific climb in the Cederberg called ‘The Abyss‘, a grade 22, which at the time was my hardest Redpoint* attempt (*a term in climbing which means leading a route to the top without falling or resting on the rope).

I had told my (very accommodating) friends, “I am not leaving here until I send this route”. I had the desire and the determination, but did I have the mental and physical strength and stamina? This route has an easy beginning, a ‘pumpy’ overhanging middle section and then it’s the crux (which is the hardest move on a climb.)

Well I got spat off that crux about four times! I’d get there pumped and adrenalized and either mess up the sequence or just not have the strength to pull through it. Each time I’d come back down and start again… knowing that the chances of falling (or rather failing) again were pretty high.

But I had said I’m not leaving until I get this and after around four attempts the sun was now close to setting. This was my last chance. My heart was racing, my weary body was saying “really? You’re really going make me do this again?”

I dig deep, chalk up and go regardless.

Breathing slowing and deeply to calm my nerves and centre myself,  I make my way up to the overhang, pull through the roof and get to the crux.

Ignoring the complete tantrum that’s going on inside my head, I shove my hand in the rail. Grip the little crimper on the right. Place my toe on the tiny little edge, while my leg is shaking like a sewing machine. Stand up. Reach for the crimper to the left. Swap feet. Reach for the hold to the right and …“OMG I’m sticking this hold!’

I quickly get to the next rail and the realisation that I’ve got through has suddenly hit and the pressure to finish the route has set my adrenalin into overdrive.

I have to slow down my breathing to keep it together and focus carefully on each move so I don’t go mess up now right near the end. My tenacity overrides my fatigue and pulls me through to the top of the chains. The final clip. Yesss!!!!

The exhilaration and relief washes through me as I watch the sun set over the Cederberg mountains.

This is what it means to be ALIVE!

 

Living your bliss is about living your truth, finding what fuels your heart and letting that be the compass that guides you. Each one of us has unique gifts to share with the world – we all have a purpose. I believe that purpose is for us to each awaken to our most authentic selves and forge a path that is guided by our true heart’s desires.

In order to find your truth though you have to face everything that’s not in alignment with that and be willing to let it go. You have to leave your comfort zone and have the courage to deal with the biggest obstacle in your path, YOU.

When you honour your heart you’ll be compelled to live more and more in service of it. The desire is strong, the determination is there, but you still need to get off the ground.

We’ve been programmed to survive. We are wired with a Psycho Cybernetic Mechanism that rings an alarm bell every time we go out of our comfort zone. Any deviation sends neural transmitters which create doubts, fear and anxiety to bring us back there. It’s safe, it’s predictable, it’s … boring. But it doesn’t know whether we want to stay there or not. It doesn’t know that growth requires us to move beyond that comfort zone. It’s job is to simply bring us back there.

Familiarity a powerful force in human beings and without over-riding and re-setting this mechanism we don’t get to experience and express our fullest potential.

Survival is so prehistoric… we’re here to THRIVE. Yet it’s not easy in a world that’s been governed by external success, money, security and needing to be ‘realistic’. People are so busy trying to fit into system that our education has primed us for that we don’t often ask ourselves “Am I deeply fulfilled and ALIVE to the core of my being?” And If not, “what am I going to do about it?”

I’m sure you’ve experienced those moments when you’re lying in bed and you have an epiphany – a great idea. You get soo excited… you can’t wait to get up and begin your new project, your new life! Nothing is going to stop you…

And then… you wake up.

What were you thinking? And the list of a million reasons why you can’t do that begins to unravel. The flame in your belly has been instantly snuffed and you spend the rest of the day deflated in the smokey aftermath.

Our analytical mind has to be the greatest killjoy there is. Granted he has his place in the world, but given half the chance, he’ll gatecrash and poop all over any party!

Finding your bliss is the one part, living it is the courageous part.

Living our truth is not always easy, we have to stretch ourselves, challenge our old programming, shift our beliefs of ‘not being worthy’, over-ride our fears of rejection and step into a power we never believed we had. But what is life if not lived and expressed fully and authentically?

 

So when I find myself facing yet another crux on this majestic mountain I am climbing, I have to remind myself…

In order to follow my bliss, I need to be willing to leave the ground behind me.

When feeling defeated, to dig deeper and find that inner strength and perseverance that I know I have.

When I fall, to get up, chalk up and find another way.

When my head starts making a noise, to take a deep breath, re-centre and just focus on my next move.

And when I’m at the top, I’ll set my sights on the next route because life isn’t linear with a beginning and an end, it’s more like a spiral taking me deeper and deeper to the core of who I am as I peel back the layers.

It’s an inner journey that isn’t happening around me, but rather through me as I intimately connect to each moment ­– the fear, the doubt, the pain, the joy, the exhilaration.

That’s what keeps me on the rock and that’s what keeps me ALIVE!

Click here to find out more about the ‘Living your Bliss Coaching Programme‘… designed to support you in finding your truth and treasure, let go of any mental clutter or unconscious programming that is weighing you down, and move forward with practical tools that will help you create and live a heart -inspired life.

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I just had to share!

April 25, 2013

Last week after another very special Heart Circle gathering I was lying on my bed just about to switch my phone off, when a WhatsApp message came through. It read:

“Hello Tracy, *happy*“

I didn’t recognise the number so I replied, “Hello, “who are you? :)“

“M sure u dnt remember m, bt I will remind u

My name is Thuliswa

Frm Welkom”

For a moment I thought, ‘Not another spam message, and how did this person even know my name!?’

“We met in Cape Town when I was diagnosed with Cancer”

Then the penny dropped!

“Thuli?! Is that you?!”

Tears started streaming down my face as I was instantly transported back ten years ago.

For a number of years I had volunteered for The Reach for a Dream Foundation. They are an amazing organisation that fulfills the dreams of children between the ages of 3 and 18 who have been diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. The foundation injects some magic back into the child’s life, putting a smile on their face and giving them hope. I learned so much from these precious children… they don’t feel sorry for themselves like us adults tend to and they just get on with it with such bravery and presence. It was a truly humbling experience that I’m so grateful to have been a part of.

Thuli was one of those special children.

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~ Maya Angelou I couldn’t remember our conversations back then and hardly remembered all that we did, but what I did remember was how I felt in their company and the special bond we had formed in such a short space of time.

Thuli had come down from Welkom with her ‘mom’, Cynthia (who was actually her grandmother), to experience Cape Town and I remember taking them to Ratanga Junction as one of their outings. I can’t recall what kind of cancer she had, but she hadn’t been doing so well. After a short space of time their positivity and warmth had ensured a special place in my heart. At the end of our time together we shared hugs and telephone numbers and I now recall having sent a present back for Thuli’s birthday one year.

That all feels like a lifetime ago! Having that little girl contact me now after all those years, and the fact that she had even remembered me, caught me completely off guard. When I asked how she still had my number, she said she had found it in an old diary and that herself and her mom talk about me often.

She is now completely cancer-free and in her second year of Marketing at the University of Johannesburg!

By the end of a heart-felt text conversation, exchanging ‘I love you’s‘ with someone I had briefly met so many years ago, I was sobbing like a baby!

My heart was so full and open and it just highlighted for me that at the end of the day nothing else really matters besides the lives you touch and the connections you make.

You can add value to someone’s life without even realising it, just by being yourself and allowing others into your heart. Thuli contacting me was probably the most special thing that had happened to me this year. And all it was, was a simple ‘hello’ after a brief encounter over a decade ago.

The smallest of things to you can mean the world to someone else. Never underestimate the exchange of a genuine smile, an acknowledgement, a compliment, a few kind words or a warm embrace.

We all really long for one thing in life and that is Love. Know that you ARE Love – feel it and share it – it’s what we’re here to do! 

 

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