Romance or no romance, I’ve never really been a fan of the big V-Day. Sure I’ve had some great Valentines, but there’s always been a hint of pressure, expectation, and like any commercial holiday… hype and a sense of obligation stirred into the mix.
The question is, why are we celebrating love today anyway? Well, because that’s what’s selling right now. Right now love is in! Next week love will be out and chocolate bunnies will be in! Then it’s mom and dad’s turn… and so it continues.
Like any spell, you don’t know you’re under one until you break free from it. We keep following the same pattern year after year, while the shops and media keep manipulating us to spend, what R600 on a rose these days?
And why? Because of St Valentine, who as it turns out was imprisoned, tortured and executed in Rome on February 14, 273. Ah now that’s love! It seems the colour red represents all the bloodshed rather than the love.
Valentine’s – a day where love is held to ransom. Where single people feel their lack of love magnified. Where partners feel pressure and expectations. Where ‘normal’ love just doesn’t quite cut it and has to be dressed up in a pretty (and rather expensive) bow and delivered in just the right way to meet the partner’s expectations.
The thing with packaging something, even with all the fancy trimmings, is that when unwrapped, the present remains the present. What’s underneath is always underneath no matter how much you try pile on top. And in fact when you open up a beautifully presented gift with high expectations and find the same thing that’s always been there, you tend to be somewhat disappointed.
Love doesn’t need to be dressed up for a day so it can prove something. Love has nothing to prove, it simply IS and like a hosepipe we determine how much we allow to flow through us based on how restrictive or open we are to receiving from that source.
So while I used to think Cupid was a chubby little masochist archery drop-out, often missing the mark and shooting me straight back in the heart. I now know that he was actually always bang on target and his little arrow was ever so un-gently trying to crack me open to real love.
Self love is by far the hardest, yet most necessary and rewarding relationships to nurture and master. Our relationships with each other aren’t what brings us love and joy, they are merely mirrors that reflect what is within us – the good, the bad and the ugly. They magnify our weaknesses and low self esteem, highlight our joy and positives… and any parts of us that we don’t want to look at, they’ll shine a light right on them. Relationships are our best teacher, always pointing us back towards ourselves.
Self love requires a bit of mining to dig deep and bring those dark bits of coal to the surface so they can become our fuel for living with true freedom and passion. It’s about knowing and accepting all of who you are so you can come back into wholeness. It’s being able to tap directly into the source of life and experience it in a beautiful sunset; a joke shared with a friend; a birthing of a new project or idea into life; a moment of blissful connection to universal oneness during meditation; holding your baby in your arms for the first time and seeing the miracle of your perfection reflected back to you.
So don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Love, in fact I LOVE love. It’s the only thing worth celebrating and we should be doing it on a daily basis for the right reasons – because it’s the essence of who we are, the basis of all our motives, it’s always about love, we’re just sometimes looking in all the wrong places.
So today (and everyday) I honour the love that is within and around me… all the beautiful people, creatures and life that radiate that love, and to Cupid and his crooked arrow for inadvertently pointing me to back towards that true source and inner freedom.read more