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Cupid se Crooked Arrow!

February 14, 2014

Romance or no romance, I’ve never really been a fan of the big V-Day. Sure I’ve had some great Valentines, but there’s always been a hint of pressure, expectation, and like any commercial holiday… hype and a sense of obligation stirred into the mix.

The question is, why are we celebrating love today anyway? Well, because that’s what’s selling right now. Right now love is in! Next week love will be out and chocolate bunnies will be in! Then it’s mom and dad’s turn… and so it continues.

Like any spell, you don’t know you’re under one until you break free from it. We keep following the same pattern year after year, while the shops and media keep manipulating us to spend, what R600 on a rose these days?

And why? Because of St Valentine, who as it turns out was imprisoned, tortured and executed in Rome on February 14, 273. Ah now that’s love! It seems the colour red represents all the bloodshed rather than the love. 

Valentine’s – a day where love is held to ransom. Where single people feel their lack of love magnified. Where partners feel pressure and expectations. Where ‘normal’ love just doesn’t quite cut it and has to be dressed up in a pretty (and rather expensive) bow and delivered in just the right way to meet the partner’s expectations.

The thing with packaging something, even with all the fancy trimmings, is that when unwrapped, the present remains the present. What’s underneath is always underneath no matter how much you try pile on top. And in fact when you open up a beautifully presented gift with high expectations and find the same thing that’s always been there, you tend to be somewhat disappointed.

Love doesn’t need to be dressed up for a day so it can prove something. Love has nothing to prove, it simply IS and like a hosepipe we determine how much we allow to flow through us based on how restrictive or open we are to receiving from that source.

So while I used to think Cupid was a chubby little masochist archery drop-out, often missing the mark and shooting me straight back in the heart. I now know that he was actually always bang on target and his little arrow was ever so un-gently trying to crack me open to real love.

Self love is by far the hardest, yet most necessary and rewarding relationships to nurture and master. Our relationships with each other aren’t what brings us love and joy, they are merely mirrors that reflect what is within us – the good, the bad and the ugly. They magnify our weaknesses and low self esteem, highlight our joy and positives… and any parts of us that we don’t want to look at, they’ll shine a light right on them. Relationships are our best teacher, always pointing us back towards ourselves.

Self love requires a bit of mining to dig deep and bring those dark bits of coal to the surface so they can become our fuel for living with true freedom and passion. It’s about knowing and accepting all of who you are so you can come back into wholeness. It’s being able to tap directly into the source of life and experience it in a beautiful sunset; a joke shared with a friend; a birthing of a new project or idea into life; a moment of blissful connection to universal oneness during meditation; holding your baby in your arms for the first time and seeing the miracle of your perfection reflected back to you.

So don’t get me wrong, I’m all for Love, in fact I LOVE love. It’s the only thing worth celebrating and we should be doing it on a daily basis for the right reasons – because it’s the essence of who we are, the basis of all our motives, it’s always about love, we’re just sometimes looking in all the wrong places.

So today (and everyday) I honour the love that is within and around me… all the beautiful people, creatures and life that radiate that love, and to Cupid and his crooked arrow for inadvertently pointing me to back towards that true source and inner freedom.

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Living your Bliss!

July 11, 2013

I remember a specific climb in the Cederberg called ‘The Abyss‘, a grade 22, which at the time was my hardest Redpoint* attempt (*a term in climbing which means leading a route to the top without falling or resting on the rope).

I had told my (very accommodating) friends, “I am not leaving here until I send this route”. I had the desire and the determination, but did I have the mental and physical strength and stamina? This route has an easy beginning, a ‘pumpy’ overhanging middle section and then it’s the crux (which is the hardest move on a climb.)

Well I got spat off that crux about four times! I’d get there pumped and adrenalized and either mess up the sequence or just not have the strength to pull through it. Each time I’d come back down and start again… knowing that the chances of falling (or rather failing) again were pretty high.

But I had said I’m not leaving until I get this and after around four attempts the sun was now close to setting. This was my last chance. My heart was racing, my weary body was saying “really? You’re really going make me do this again?”

I dig deep, chalk up and go regardless.

Breathing slowing and deeply to calm my nerves and centre myself,  I make my way up to the overhang, pull through the roof and get to the crux.

Ignoring the complete tantrum that’s going on inside my head, I shove my hand in the rail. Grip the little crimper on the right. Place my toe on the tiny little edge, while my leg is shaking like a sewing machine. Stand up. Reach for the crimper to the left. Swap feet. Reach for the hold to the right and …“OMG I’m sticking this hold!’

I quickly get to the next rail and the realisation that I’ve got through has suddenly hit and the pressure to finish the route has set my adrenalin into overdrive.

I have to slow down my breathing to keep it together and focus carefully on each move so I don’t go mess up now right near the end. My tenacity overrides my fatigue and pulls me through to the top of the chains. The final clip. Yesss!!!!

The exhilaration and relief washes through me as I watch the sun set over the Cederberg mountains.

This is what it means to be ALIVE!


Living your bliss is about living your truth, finding what fuels your heart and letting that be the compass that guides you. Each one of us has unique gifts to share with the world – we all have a purpose. I believe that purpose is for us to each awaken to our most authentic selves and forge a path that is guided by our true heart’s desires.

In order to find your truth though you have to face everything that’s not in alignment with that and be willing to let it go. You have to leave your comfort zone and have the courage to deal with the biggest obstacle in your path, YOU.

When you honour your heart you’ll be compelled to live more and more in service of it. The desire is strong, the determination is there, but you still need to get off the ground.

We’ve been programmed to survive. We are wired with a Psycho Cybernetic Mechanism that rings an alarm bell every time we go out of our comfort zone. Any deviation sends neural transmitters which create doubts, fear and anxiety to bring us back there. It’s safe, it’s predictable, it’s … boring. But it doesn’t know whether we want to stay there or not. It doesn’t know that growth requires us to move beyond that comfort zone. It’s job is to simply bring us back there.

Familiarity a powerful force in human beings and without over-riding and re-setting this mechanism we don’t get to experience and express our fullest potential.

Survival is so prehistoric… we’re here to THRIVE. Yet it’s not easy in a world that’s been governed by external success, money, security and needing to be ‘realistic’. People are so busy trying to fit into system that our education has primed us for that we don’t often ask ourselves “Am I deeply fulfilled and ALIVE to the core of my being?” And If not, “what am I going to do about it?”

I’m sure you’ve experienced those moments when you’re lying in bed and you have an epiphany – a great idea. You get soo excited… you can’t wait to get up and begin your new project, your new life! Nothing is going to stop you…

And then… you wake up.

What were you thinking? And the list of a million reasons why you can’t do that begins to unravel. The flame in your belly has been instantly snuffed and you spend the rest of the day deflated in the smokey aftermath.

Our analytical mind has to be the greatest killjoy there is. Granted he has his place in the world, but given half the chance, he’ll gatecrash and poop all over any party!

Finding your bliss is the one part, living it is the courageous part.

Living our truth is not always easy, we have to stretch ourselves, challenge our old programming, shift our beliefs of ‘not being worthy’, over-ride our fears of rejection and step into a power we never believed we had. But what is life if not lived and expressed fully and authentically?


So when I find myself facing yet another crux on this majestic mountain I am climbing, I have to remind myself…

In order to follow my bliss, I need to be willing to leave the ground behind me.

When feeling defeated, to dig deeper and find that inner strength and perseverance that I know I have.

When I fall, to get up, chalk up and find another way.

When my head starts making a noise, to take a deep breath, re-centre and just focus on my next move.

And when I’m at the top, I’ll set my sights on the next route because life isn’t linear with a beginning and an end, it’s more like a spiral taking me deeper and deeper to the core of who I am as I peel back the layers.

It’s an inner journey that isn’t happening around me, but rather through me as I intimately connect to each moment ­– the fear, the doubt, the pain, the joy, the exhilaration.

That’s what keeps me on the rock and that’s what keeps me ALIVE!

Click here to find out more about the ‘Living your Bliss Coaching Programme‘… designed to support you in finding your truth and treasure, let go of any mental clutter or unconscious programming that is weighing you down, and move forward with practical tools that will help you create and live a heart -inspired life.

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2013: The big squeeze into expansion

April 1, 2013

In mid-2012 I wrote “What on Earth is going on? about how we’re moving into a new era and what that exactly means. Shortly after that it was the Venus Transit bringing us an opportunity to heal the feminine consciousness which I shared in “Can you feel the Change? Now a third of the way into 2013 after having entered the Age of Aquarius, some may be wondering, “Where is this so-called New Earth?” The old dies hard and below may be what some of you have been experiencing this year. 

We’re in the throes of great change and upheaval. The energy of an old paradigm is dissipating and we’re left feeling unsteady as we adjust to a new vibrational frequency.

The dust of an old world is still hanging over us, leaving us in the dark, not able to clearly see what lies ahead. The light is brighter but it’s shining in the corners of our unconscious minds, illuminating our shadow and bringing to light what needs to be brought into balance.

At times it may feel like we’re lost out at sea, treading water as we venture towards the unknown beyond the horizon. The sea is choppy and the more you resist and fight the currents, the harder the journey becomes. Your fears, doubts and antiquated beliefs will weigh you down and weaken your efforts of getting to shore. You’ll feel like you’re drowning if you don’t cut them loose. Embrace the unknown like a child, letting wonder and curiosity keep you light and buoyant.

There is no going back, what’s left behind is crumbling away and what lies ahead is whatever you choose to plant in your imagination. Allow the currents to wash through you and clear out the old debris, leaving you open to new possibilities. This isn’t a peaceful lake that you’re drifting down… it’s stormy, tumultuous and there’s nothing solid to hold onto. You have to BE that something solid – you’re out at sea on your own, with no one to blame anymore. You’ll be experiencing what you‘ve been projecting on the outside, on the inside now. It’s time to clean ship. Your emotions are intensified as you’re forced to face and embrace ALL aspects of yourself.

Although this may feel overwhelming at times and met with resistance and avoidance, you’ll soon discover the best way to get to shore is to surrender to the process and flow with the tide. Face what needs facing – forgive, let go and let the grieving process of what you’ve left behind crack open your heart to reveal your true power within.

Use your inner guidance and intuition to lead you to shore. Just because you can’t see what lies ahead yet, doesn’t mean it’s not there. Keep trusting that the more you’re willing to let go of the fears that are keeping you anchored to what you left behind, the smoother your journey becomes. There will be sea serpents and dragons to slay along the way, but with each encounter and swipe of your sword of courage, you’ll build more confidence and power until you move past them with greater ease.

You may experience vulnerability and instability as currents quicken and intensify but trust that this all part of awakening to your authentic self. There will be reefs in between where you get to rest and integrate your higher consciousness while enjoying the fruits of your hard work before you’re back treading more water. Sometimes it’ll feel like you’ve covered some distance only to feel pulled back again by the current and wonder if you’re making any ground.

It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion as we go in a spiral deeper and deeper to our core. Issues we may have thought we’d resolved re-appear with an extra layer of intensity and opportunity to clear more completely. Welcome this opportunity and trust that if you are feeling squeezed, it means you are growing – expansion is always preceded by contraction.

As our planet keeps shifting into a higher frequency we’ll feel like everything is speeding up… what used to take weeks to process can take days or hours. We’re moving through our stuff quicker which can feel all-consuming, yet we’re also manifesting quicker so be conscious of your thoughts, as they are the seeds of your future.

Our New Earth is like a computer operating system that has been upgraded but if you’re still running on old software, you’ll have incompatibility issues and eventually hang (get stuck). Your old programming is obsolete in this new paradigm.

While we’re in the process of ‘upgrading’ there’s a time of integration and of being in the void ­– and we’ll do anything not to sit in the unknown, we’ll dance around it in avoidance (a void dance). We don’t want to be in the dark, we don’t want to feel what’s not happy, joyful, blissful, certain, exciting. And we’ll analyse why we may be feeling out of sorts, give ourselves reasons and justifications… anything to not actually FEEL. And so it simply perpetuates. There’s power in the ‘I don’t know’, use it as a time to get to know who you are and what you want on a deeper level.

Feel it. Own it. Love ALL of you. We’re moving from the separation of duality into unity and Oneness… accept all polarities without judging them to be good or bad. Before anything was labelled, it simply was. Labels create division within and between our selves and the world. Accept and embrace all that you are with compassion and only then can you be free to be completely you.

The resistance is your ego fighting to hold on to what it knows and the more that gets illuminated, the more desperate it becomes at clinging on. When you notice you’re in resistance, ask yourself “what belief am I holding on to that is keeping me stuck?” What ‘BS’ story are you telling yourself? Your story will reveal the belief you are holding. (BS = Belief System!)

You are being called to live up to your highest potential… dissolve the walls, release the fear and let your heart and soul guide the way. No more hiding from yourself or the world, you are here for a reason and it’s time for your soul’s full expression.

Your head will continue to get in the way if you still believe that it is in the driver’s seat. It isn’t. Your heart is your power… it is the flame that will ignite any of your ideas and bring them to life. Dare to be braver than your fears. Dare to be freer than your limitations. Be the warrior that you are, with courage as your sword, cutting through the inner barriers and obstacles so to reach your home of infinite power and Love.

The energies are here to activate the wisdom of our heart-mind, reveal our light and learn to live in the world with our feet connected to Earth, our hearts connected to each other and the Divine Light flowing through us. We have access to every possible reality within us and we get to decide what that reality is. We can choose to run the old software with all the glitches and keep dancing around the void until we eventually crash. Or let go of that old programming and upgrade to the new heart-based OS.

All the while remember, you are the swimmer and you are the shore. There is no ‘getting there’, it’s more a matter of logging out of the old conditioning that caused you to forget who you truly are and why you are here. Be in your body, in your heart, in your truth. Don’t let the outside picture distort your inner knowing. Things may look and feel scattered and unsettled, but trust that soon after the dust storm, the dust comes to settle and new life begins to grow and flourish!


This article may be republished as is, with no changes made and all links active.
© 2013 Tracy Russell

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Can you feel the change?

July 17, 2012

It’s been just over a month since I published my last post What on Earth is going on?, in fact it was the night of the Venus Transit. Who would’ve thought that one planet would cause so much mayhem at a time when I was merrily tripping the light fantastic!


In order to bring the new feminine energy into balance with the masculine, it appears we’ve needed to heal the feminine consciousness first. Venus so graciously provided us with that energy – exposing any suppressed emotions and patterns, bringing to light that which still needed clearing. It’s been a time of integration, rest, reflection and re-evaluation.

For some it’s been an intense period, manifesting as emotional or physical discomfort, or both. You may have felt a sense of avoidance, wanting to shut out the world, not knowing your next step even though you thought you had it all figured out.

You may have been feeling caught between the old and the new. Flying high one moment, swept up in joy and connection, then dropping back down to clean up any unfinished business.

The veil is being lifted and it’s harder to hide in ignorance. The truth is finding its way through the cracks of fear and becoming impossible to ignore.
Either way, whether consciously or unconsciously, most have been feeling the great shift that is taking place as everything gets sped and stirred up. We’re all going through the process of purging, although being affected differently at different times. The veil is being lifted and it’s harder to hide in ignorance. The truth is finding its way through the cracks of fear and becoming impossible to ignore. Some feel a kind of midlife crises looming as they reassess their lives and what it is they’re here to do. It’s hardly surprising as Mother Earth is going through a ‘midlife’ crises of her own as she shifts into a new frequency.

It’s extremely apparent that our planet is in chaos. Yet because us human beings have been living in separation consciousness for so long, we forget that we are the microcosm of the macrocosm… what we do to our selves, we do to others and the planet, and vice versa. Even our thoughts that vibrate at the highest frequency affect the vibration of the Earth. We are not only accountable for our own lives, but for the wellbeing of our entire planet, simply by being who we are.

It’s easy to note the global change that is happening… economies, old belief systems and governments that are collapsing. The masses are starting to wake up and demand change, demand the truth. We’re taking back our power from the ‘powers that be’ who have been keeping us oppressed and asleep for so long. Pharmaceutical companies are being challenged, as well as large food corporations and banks. The old paradigm based on fear, control and separation is being questioned and brought to justice.

As challenging as these times are, the old has to break down to make way for the new. This is clearly happening on a global scale, yet we are the ones that are effecting this change. If you are reading this right now, chances are you have contracted to be here at this time to help shift the planet and humanity into the next dimension and it starts with your own personal shift.

This is a time of stepping into your own truth and power. You are being forced to take stock of what is real for you, what you need to learn from your past, forgive and let go of. Notice the areas in your life that are not working, and what it is that you need to acknowledge, face and transform in order to create the life you want.

Where is it that you need to step into your power more?

Where is it that you need to step into your truth more?

Where is it in your life that you are feeling uncomfortable?

Where can you change the patterns and behaviours that need changing in order to shift into alignment and integrity?

We are being compelled to step into our power, own who we are and what we are here to do. The ego is losing its grip as the heart takes over and rules our intelligence. We may feel as though we are being challenged on so many levels, whether it’s relationships, career or finances. Everything is being tested and if you’re not in integrity with your current situation, the illusion will break away to reveal the truth.

We are learning to communicate with honesty, which may be uncomfortable for those not yet in their hearts. We may want to hold on to our old ways for fear of change, but right now change is the only way through the chaos. Acceptance and surrender is what will make this transition an easier, more peaceful one – personally and globally.

As ideologies and belief systems are being challenged, be prepared to drop what you thought to be true in order to make space for that which resonates through your intuition and inner wisdom. Question everything you believed to be the truth and be open to gaining new insights and clarity, widening your perspective.

The caterpillar inside the cocoon needs to experience the darkness and pain of growing and getting stronger in order to push out into the light and fly towards freedom.

Honour where you are right now, as where you are is where you are meant to be. Allow your feelings, emotions and truth to surface so you can acknowledge all of you. The illusion of separation has taught us to resist our shadow selves, our flaws, our ‘dark side’. That we need to be a certain way and if we aren’t it means we are not good enough, not worthy. This has kept us playing small and from tapping into our true power and potential.

The liberation comes in acceptance of our shadow selves… when we accept the duality of who we are, we no longer resist and feel the need to wear masks. When we are in resistance we block ourselves from the flow and from fully experiencing all that we are. This is the key to loving our whole selves whilst moving from a paradigm of duality into one of unity. By loving and accepting ourselves for the perfection that we are, the ego has nothing to cling to and gives way to the truth of love being all there really is.

More so than ever, it’s time to step out of victimhood and into responsibility.

What can I acknowledge and take responsibility for so that I’m able to let go of the past and step into creation?

We hold the key to unlock the future of our planet and humanity simply through our own personal transformation. We are the change that will change our planet and it’s time we really got that!

Don’t fear the change, surrender to the inevitability of change and be the change that resides in your heart – your inner compass that will help navigate you through these rocky times.

Know that you are not alone and rather than just being sucked into the drama of your immediate situation, reach out to others. There is support all around you, whether it’s a professional or a friend. This is a time of coming together as One. Be present to this exciting time in history and reach out to your community with the gift of who you are.

Your intuition will be getting stronger and will help guide you to your purpose if it hasn’t yet already. Trust the synchronicities that are all around you. Nurture yourself, love yourself and share your self. You will feel less concerned about what others think of you, and more inspired to talk and walk your truth.

As you let go of the ego and the past, your future is like a blank canvas… nothing will feel like it used to.

What do you choose for yourself now that the old movie has lost its appeal? What do you choose for the planet?

We are writing a new script – make it one of love, unity, peace and whatever else you dream it to be.

Be gentle, compassionate and loving to your selves during this time. If you feel stuck in limbo, despondent or out of sorts, surrender and know this will pass. Focus on what you wish to create and let your imagination inspire and guide you to the other side. Don’t ever doubt your own significance and purpose. Your purpose is simply to awaken to all that you are and be the light that is needed to further tip the scales and bring upon this new era of heart consciousness.


With love,

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Are you Growing or Dying?

April 21, 2012

The basic Universal law is “either create or disintegrate”… simply put, we’re either growing or dying.

Although the acorn holds the blueprint to become the big and mighty Oak Tree, if not nurtured under the right conditions, it will merely disintegrate. Just as the acorn can only grow to the degree that it has nourishment, so can you tap into your unlimited potential, only to the extent that you nurture and believe in that potential.

We all have a particular internal blueprint… our unique purpose based on our gifts, talents and the fundamental essence of who we are.

Often we’re so busy searching for our purpose on the outside, that we fail to see that in fact everything we need to know about who we are and why we are here is within us right now.

Your inner purpose is to awaken to your true authentic self. It is the certainty, awareness and presence beyond your thoughts. Your outer purpose may change over time, but we all share the same inner purpose of detaching our egoic selves from our spiritual selves, shedding the layers and discovering who we truly are beyond who we may think ourselves to be.

It’s in remaining true to your inner purpose of awakening, that your outer purpose becomes clearer.  The acorn may not know exactly what she is to become, but by simply surrendering to her innate wisdom, trusting that there is a divine plan and doing her best, her vibration will attract everything that is in harmony with her… providing her with all she needs to grow and expand to her fullest potential.

In adverse conditions the little oak shrub has to keep doing her best, growing regardless – giving up is not an option. She continues to trust and grow and allows neither time nor space to determine when she herself will bear her own acorns, thus allowing her the opportunity of fulfilling her outer purpose.

Not only is there an oak tree inside every acorn, but an entire forest! Just as the acorn produces more acorns simply by being the oak tree it was meant to be, so we spread our own seeds through our presence and actions. This gives us the potential to inspire an entire forest into being.

The possibilities are truly limitless when you tap into your authenticity, add a dash of action and share your fruits with the world around you!

Are you nourishing yourself with affirming thoughts and beliefs? Or are you letting fear and doubt hold you back from your full potential?

Are you stuck waiting for the conditions to be right before you emerge from your shell?

Is what you are attracting into your life reflective of who you truly are and what you really want? Or are you letting your fears and limiting beliefs do all the attracting?

As with the acorn, we are all doing the best we can under our particular circumstances and with the resources we have. The question is are you growing and creating new possibilities, or are you stagnating and therefore disintegrating?

Give yourself the best chance of being the best version of yourself in each possible moment… and your life will change simply by changing how you show up in it!

 Find out about more about The Breakthrough Process

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